


Rin's Tears

by ellerean



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1551998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellerean/pseuds/ellerean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru won't admit how quiet the locker room is after Rin leaves for Australia. (And he doesn't miss him one bit, no way.) And he <i>definitely</i> doesn't think about him when the other boys are talking about cute girls, or when he's swimming alone in the pool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rin's Tears

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my hard drive for a while. Finally decided to finish it.

Haru didn’t care about locker room gossip. It was easy to ignore—he ignored them all, anyway, changing as fast as he could to get into the water. It was almost a relief not having someone pester him about joining a relay anymore, though he wouldn’t admit how quiet the locker room was without that hothead around.

The other boys made up for it, though. They had started to notice the girls in the swim club—not as swimmers, but as _girls_. _Obviously they’re girls_ , Haru thought, listening to the boys gossip about who filled out her swimsuit the best.

“What do you think, Nanase?” one of them asked, leaning against his locker. “Who do you think is the hottest?”

“I don’t care,” Haru said, pulling off his shirt. “I’m here to swim.”

“But you’ve _noticed_. You spend all that time with Aki—”

“Guys, leave him alone,” Makoto cut in.

Haru glared at him. Makoto wasn’t helping. Haru wanted _him_ to ignore them, too, instead of trying to stick his nose where it didn’t belong. He lowered his head, grabbing a towel before heading out to the pool. Makoto trailed after him, too close, as the boys continued to rank the girls’ non-existent boobs.

He couldn’t get to the water fast enough.

In the pool, he could drown them out. He didn’t have to listen to the boys, or look at the girls, or do anything but feel the water. As he turned, he conjured up an image Rin in the lane beside him, pacing him, pushing himself to pass Haru.

He stopped mid-lap, panting as he stared down the end of his lane.

“Are you okay, Haru?” Makoto called, standing at his starting block.

Haru looked at the empty lane beside him, then pushed off the floor to finish his lap.

_(What do you think, Nanase?)_

He scowled as he took Makoto’s hand. _Those things don’t matter_ , he thought, as he was pulled from the water. _They should think about why they swim if they only want to check out girls._

The boys were jostling each other in the locker room, laughing, but a hush fell over them when Haru and Makoto entered. Makoto hadn’t noticed—he was still talking about Haru’s impressive lap time—but Haru could feel their eyes on him, which he tried to ignore. He didn’t want Makoto to leave for the showers yet, but said nothing when he was left alone in the locker room.

“I bet he’s gay,” one of the boys whispered, as Haru pulled off his wet swimsuit.

“You know how boys do it, though?” someone else said.

“Boys _can’t_ do it.”

“Wanna bet?” They spoke in a loud whisper, pretending to hide their secrets, but loud enough for Haru to overhear. “They do it in the ass.”

Haru hid behind his open locker door, fingers shaking as he dressed. _They shouldn’t say things like that_ , he thought. Stupid Makoto. He shouldn’t have left him alone. Haru left before he’d zipped his jacket, his sneakers still untied.

Makoto was blissfully quiet as they ran home. Haru could pretend his flushed cheeks were from swimming, or from the biting wind as they ran. He lowered his head and ran faster. _Ignore them_. Makoto struggled to keep up.

He’d mostly pushed the conversation from his mind. But it was the second thing Haru thought of when he saw Rin again—the first being relief in seeing his old friend.

Rin hadn’t seen Haru—he stood on the opposite side of the railroad crossing, the gates lowered. It was weird that Rin wasn’t looking up, because that’s what he always did: he flashed his smile, urging everyone to follow. It wasn’t until the ground rumbled with the train’s approach that he lifted his head, surprised, mouthing Haru’s name as the train passed between them.

Haru ran over the moment the gates lifted. He talked of the swim club, talked of the pool at the middle school. He kept on talking when Rin wouldn’t, but caught the familiar glint in his eye.

“Hey, Haru. Let’s swim together again.”

Haru readily agreed, leading him to the old swim club. He wanted to tell Rin how good he looked—even wearing his jacket, he could see that Rin had grown. He looked older. Haru wondered if he looked different, too, and if Rin had noticed.

_(Who do you think is the hottest?)_

They turned away from each other in the locker room as they changed. Rin was quiet. Haru peered over his shoulder, his gaze immediately falling to Rin’s butt. He flushed when Rin pulled off his underwear.

“Hey, Haru. Know what I learned from the guys in Australia?”

Haru quickly turned away. _How two guys can do it?_

“Shaving your body hair helps improve your time. Isn’t that weird?” Rin adjusted his swimsuit and turned around. “Not that I have much yet. It probably wouldn’t make a difference.” He stepped closer as Haru draped a towel over his shoulders. “You don’t have much either,” he said, poking Haru’s chest. “Not that you need any help, right?” He tried to laugh, but his eyes lacked their familiar luster. “I’m going to rinse off,” he said, turning toward the showers.

“Wait for me,” Haru said, trotting after him.

Rin crossed his arms. “What, you want to join me?”

“N-no!” He averted his eyes as he pouted, and Rin’s laugh was almost his own again.

Rin stood half-in, half-out of a shower stall, holding back the curtain as Haru entered the alcove. “Curtains,” he said, shaking it so the rings rattled. “Things got fancy around here.”

Haru couldn’t decide whether it was an invitation. He couldn’t decide whether he’d accept. _What does it matter?_ he thought. It was a two-minute rinse in a swimsuit, a requirement before getting into the pool. When Haru passed, Rin gently touched his arm.

Haru nudged him in and pulled the curtain closed.

_(I bet he’s gay.)_

Haru watched Rin’s hand turn the handle, as if in slow motion. They stood toe-to-toe, staring at each other as the showerhead sprung to life. Haru tried to stare deeper, tried to find the fire those eyes once held. Rin loosely draped his arms around Haru’s waist, breaking eye contact as they fell into a hug. Water caught between their bodies, pooling in the crevasses of their arms and necks.

“What is it, Haru?” he whispered. “I didn’t expect you to actually join me.”

 _I missed you_.

Haru stared at his ear. He watched the water drip off his wet hair. He felt Rin’s thumb stroke the small of his back. “It’s nothing,” he said, pressing his cheek to Rin’s as the water struck their faces.

Rin was silent a moment before he said, “You’re different.”

Haru closed his eyes. “So are you.”

_(You know how boys do it, though?)_

His friendship with Makoto was different. Makoto knew what he wanted to say, even when he didn’t want to say it. Makoto didn’t force him to do anything. But Rin was _waiting_. Could Rin feel the pulse of his skin, detect the longing in his eyes?

Haru stood back and held Rin’s shoulders. But his face was impassive. Haru smiled, trying to ease the smile out of him, but it was a weak attempt. Rin looked down, staring at his own arms around Haru’s waist. When he tried to let go, Haru only held tighter.

“Know what else I learned in Australia?”

Haru flinched when Rin’s hands slid farther down, but relaxed when they rested on his butt. He leaned into Rin, setting his chin on his shoulder. He expected Rin to make a joke. He expected him to laugh it off, not to hold him tighter.

“Did you know boys can have sex together, Haru?”

He studied the rivulets on the wall, listened to the spray of the showerhead. He played with the hair that clung to the nape of Rin’s neck; his hair was longer than he remembered. “Yeah.”

“Really?” When Rin stood up straight he still held to Haru’s butt, forcing their hips to collide.

 _Not now_ , Haru prayed, feeling the fire in his groin as he fidgeted against Rin. “Locker room stuff.”

“Ha!” Rin turned away and twisted the faucet, staunching the flow of water. His face was obscured behind his wet hair. “Yeah, me too.”

Haru didn’t want to leave the shower. He didn’t want to follow Rin out of the locker room, studying the way his butt moved as he walked. Coach Sasabe was waiting at the pool, wondering what took them so long. “Guess you boys have a lot of catching up to do,” he said with a laugh.

Rin stepped onto the starting block, pressing his goggles over his eyes. “Let’s go, Haru. Scared?”

 

 

Maybe things would’ve been different if Haru hadn’t won. Maybe he wouldn’t have stood in the hallway, replaying Rin’s tears in his mind, watching him run away.

_I quit._

_I’m done swimming._

Haru bit down on his lip, listening to the echo of Rin's footfalls. He hugged himself around the middle, wishing they were Rin’s arms instead. _(Know what else I learned in Australia?)_ Wishing his throat didn’t feel raw, shoulders heaving with unshed tears.

Coach Sasabe’s hand fell on his shoulder. “Haru? What happened out there?”

He shook his head.

_(I quit.)_

“I’m done swimming,” Haru said, staring at the floor as he walked away.

“Okay,” Coach said warily. “See you tomorrow, then.”

 _No_ , he thought, pushing open the front door. _I’m done swimming_. He hoped Rin would be outside, but the entryway was empty. He stared in the direction of Rin’s house, the direction he’d always ran off to after they swam together before. Haru turned away, wrapped his scarf around his neck, and sprinted home. 

* * *

 

Everything was different, later.

“Haru,” Rin said, weeping on his shoulder, “you showed me the best sight I could’ve asked for.”

After, in the locker room, the others didn’t notice how Rin clung to him. Or perhaps they intentionally ignored it, when Rin followed Haru to the showers, when they occupied the same stall.

Rin’s tears were hard to decipher beneath the spray of water, mingling together, but Haru wiped his cheeks like he could tell the difference.

But Rin _smiled_. It was fragile, one that could break like glass. Haru handled it gently, touching Rin’s lips, smooth and soft beneath his fingertips.

And then he kissed them.

_(What do you think, Nanase?)_

It wasn’t weird—kissing someone, kissing a _boy_ —besides Rin’s initial frozen shock, but he immediately melted beneath the water. Arms around Haru’s waist, water sliding between their closed-lipped kiss.

_(The best sight I could ask for . . .)_

A hand slid down Haru’s back, tentatively pausing at the waist, at the edge of his exposed skin. Haru stepped closer, their bodies flush, unembarrassed by the swell in the front of his swimsuit. Rin’s whimper was barely discernible over the sound of the water but that hand eased lower down, cradling his butt.

“You remember?” Haru said, lips brushing Rin’s as he spoke.

Rin only nodded.

_(Know what else I learned in Australia?)_

Rin’s lips brushed Haru’s earlobe, a warm puff of air as he spoke. “Swim with me, Haru.” Still, his hand on Haru’s rear, fingertips grazing his swimsuit.

Makoto called for them then, a gentle announcement that other teams were coming into the locker room. Distantly, they heard the slap of wet feet on the tiled floor, cheers of victory, and high-fives.

They looked at each other. The fire of Rin’s eyes rekindled, a slow burn, ready to be set aflame.

“You go first,” Rin whispered.

He could feel the pulse of Rin’s chest as he breathed, the beat of his heart against his own warmed skin. Haru kissed him again, easier this time, searching Rin’s face when he pulled away.

They _were_ tears. Of joy . . . and relief.

Haru smiled. “I’ll swim with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> ([Here](http://letsswimtogethernanase.tumblr.com/post/84446876938) on tumblr.)


End file.
